Post-Mortem on My Foray Into Corporate Life

Now it can be told

For years, I’ve been asking myself the question: would I be happier if I could take the financial pressure off my writing with a regular job, paycheck, and benefits?

This year I got an answer, which for now is “no.” At least, not this particular job, which I started on January 5 and gave notice to earlier this month. It was an entry-level position at a company that makes a product I not only believe in but rely on as a type 1 diabetic. The benefits were great, the pay was low, and the job was extremely draining.

I had a shift that I thought would allow me to still work on my writing and fit other life in, too. My thinking was focused on the hours I would not be working: mornings and a couple of quiet days off per week. I somehow did not think about the hours I would be working—45 of them, realistically, since meal breaks are on the employer’s schedule though unpaid—and how that would affect my ability to do things in those other hours.

For a while, I was able to get in work on my book in the mornings and I even thought I’d start a new Substack project (you can find it here—I started it then quickly realized it was not the right time and so didn’t publicize, but now I do plan to get back to it).

The trouble was because I sensed early on that this job wouldn’t be sustainable for me, I kept saying yes to other work. Client manuscripts, a teaching gig, a speaking gig, etc. Of course, that in turn made my schedule extra exhausting and my creative work was not getting done.

Then I tried to negotiate a part-time schedule. I was very good at the job and liked the people. That turned into the kind of mess that’s only possible in settings where decisions are data-driven and employers think you don’t have options. My schedule proposal was denied by some spreadsheet-wielding force, so I put in notice. The literal day before my last day, when I’d already made alternate plans and even set up a couple of interviews, there was a scramble to try to keep me but that ship had sailed.

Which is fine. I’m ready to turn my attention back to my work and prepare for the MFA teaching semester. I paid off some bills and learned:

• I’m hirable. (This was a very big question as an over-50 lady who has been freelancing for nearly two decades.)

• I can learn new things (this job involved some intense expertise and documentation requirements, and a large proprietary database system).

• I can make friends, just being me. I worked under my married name, which is not my author name, and did not talk about my life as an author except with a few people at the very end. For so long, my social interactions have been propped up on the identity of Author that I truly wondered if there was more to me.

• I have more energy than I thought I did (but not as much as I would like!).

• I like not being the only person I talk to all day. (Cat and husband go without saying.)

• I do not like corporate surveillance, corporate speak, “positivity,” or Teams.

Enough about that for now. There’s a whole other piece of this related to a massive identity shift, but I’ll save that for another day.

Other Stuff I’ve Been Doing

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📖 On one Tuesday last month, I clocked out of the day job and hustled over to the Salt Lake City Public Library to be a part of Lois Lowry’s tour for Tree. Table. Book. Yes, THE LOIS LOWRY, who has the most incredible fans. It was great to get this reminder of the other part of my life in the midst of my corporate cosplay. (And the new book is terrific, though of course I had to ask Lois about A Summer to Die, the first book of hers I ever read.)

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🎙️ I also went on the Are We There Yet? podcast, which is all about kids and grief, to talk about Kyra, Just for Today, and the role of grief in my other books, too. Host Ann Faison and I had a great conversation, which you can check out here.

Author Sara Zarr on Grief for Young Readers

🫶 When I said yes to leading an Image Intensive on revision during this busy time, I wasn’t sure how I’d get it all done. But it turned out to be an energizing addition to everything else. I somehow wound up with six wonderful writers who showed up every week to be incredibly present. We just wrapped up on Saturday, and I want to give my sincere thanks to Silvia, Margaret, Jill, Hannah, Megan, and Kristen.

🗣️ Lastly (and I guess I’m going with the most literal emojis possible here) I gave a keynote to some BYU undergrad writers about why realism in fiction is still so important to me and, hopefully, to them and their future readers.

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• Get Kyra, Just for Today

• Take a peek at The Love of Money. I have a lot planned for this in the second half of 2024, and have turned on pledges to gauge interest. Money is something I think about, worry about, and wonder about every day, and I imagine I’m not alone in that. Prove me right!

• If you’re feeling helpless when you see the destruction in Gaza and read about the impacts on its people, check out Operation Olive Branch, a grassroots project to amplify and support direct aid projects. There are other long-established organizations through which you can help, too, such as the IRC.

The Inbox Variations is the monthly-ish newsletter of author Sara Zarr. Find out more about Sara and her books at www.sarazarr.com.